Leaders Don’t Need Approval to Succeed

The truth is simple, even if it's uncomfortable: leaders don’t need to be liked. They need to be respected.

The trap of being liked

Wanting to be liked is human. But in leadership, it’s a trap. The desire for approval leads to indecision, watered-down strategies, and an avoidance of conflict. Leaders end up trying to please everyone. Spreading themselves thin, compromising clarity, and diluting their impact.

Worse still, they become risk averse. Afraid to upset anyone, they avoid bold moves that could drive real progress. But leadership isn't about keeping the peace. It's about moving forward, even when it ruffles feathers.

Respect over popularity

Respect doesn’t come from nodding along or playing nice. It’s earned through consistency, courage, and delivering results.

Look at Steve Jobs. He wasn’t liked by everyone. In fact, many found him abrasive. But he had an unshakable vision and the conviction to follow it. He disrupted entire industries and built one of the most iconic companies in history.

Or Margaret Thatcher. Her leadership was unapologetically firm. While her policies were divisive, she didn’t bend to win approval. She stood her ground, and that clarity made her one of the most influential political figures of her era.

Likability fades. Respect endures.

The hidden cost of approval-seeking

Leaders who need to be liked avoid the hard stuff. They don’t give honest feedback. They sidestep tough conversations. They prioritise harmony over growth.

We’ve all worked under managers like that. People who avoid giving real feedback because they don’t want to hurt feelings. It feels nice in the short term, but it leaves teams stuck. Without clear guidance or honest conversations, no one grows. Progress stalls.

Trying to be liked doesn’t just weaken leadership. It weakens the entire team.

Be authentic not approved

The most powerful leaders aren’t universally liked. They’re authentic. They know their values. They stand by them. Even when there’s pushback.

Authentic leadership doesn’t mean being abrasive. It means being clear about who you are, what you stand for, and where you're going. That clarity attracts the right people. The ones who want to go on that journey with you.

You don’t need everyone’s approval. You need the right people’s belief.

The power of polarization

Here’s something we rarely say out loud: polarizing leaders often make the biggest impact.

Take Elon Musk. He’s divisive, unpredictable and undeniably effective. Whether you admire him or not, his focus on mission over likability has driven breakthroughs in space, energy, and transportation. He doesn’t waste time trying to win everyone over. He builds the future and lets the results speak for themselves.

Leaders like Musk force people to make a choice: get on board or move out of the way. That clarity creates momentum.

Stop chasing approval. Start leading.

If you want to lead well, stop trying to be liked. Speak the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable. Make the hard decisions, even when they’re unpopular. And above all, show up as your real self.

Leadership isn’t about being everyone’s favourite. It’s about responsibility. Impact. Direction. Courage.

The best leaders know this, and they act accordingly.

So, here’s the question: Are you leading or are you still trying to be liked?

The choice is yours. Make it count.