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David O'Connor
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4 September 2025
Everyone Starts From Good: A Leadership Principle for Polarized Times
When we look around the world today, it often feels like people are more divided than ever. Politics, culture, identity, even day-to-day workplace debates can quickly collapse into “us vs them.” And in that environment, it’s easy to slip into a mindset that assumes: if you don’t agree with me, you must be wrong or worse, acting in bad faith.
But what if we started from a different principle?
What if we assumed that everyone starts from good?
Not in the simplistic sense of “positive intent,” where we politely give others the benefit of the doubt. Not that everyone is right. Not that all outcomes are equal. But that most people act out of a desire to protect or advance something deeply meaningful to them. Shaped by their values, experiences, and worldview. Even when their choices clash with ours, they are usually motivated by what matters most to them.
Why this matters for Leaders
Not in the simplistic sense of “positive intent,” where we politely give others the benefit of the doubt. Not that everyone is right. Not that all outcomes are equal. But that most people act out of a desire to protect or advance something deeply meaningful to them. Shaped by their values, experiences, and worldview. Even when their choices clash with ours, they are usually motivated by what matters most to them.
Why this matters for Leaders
Leaders today don’t just manage teams. They navigate a world of clashing perspectives. If we believe others are “bad,” we shut down dialogue and reinforce division. If we start from good, we can at least begin to ask:
What vision of good is this person trying to uphold?
What values are driving their stance?
How might my own definition of good be different, but no less valid?
What would it mean to treat this as a clash of “what matters,” rather than a battle between right and wrong?
This is the mindset shift leaders need if they are to work across divides.
This is the mindset shift leaders need if they are to work across divides.
Competing “goods,” Not good vs bad
Consider US politics. Democrats and Republicans often seem locked in moral battle. Yet, as Jonathan Haidt’s The Righteous Mind shows, both sides are rooted in moral foundations: care, fairness, loyalty, authority, liberty. Each side is fighting for a version of the good but because the definitions differ, each sees the other as dangerous or wrong.
The same is true elsewhere. A debate on immigration might pit the desire for national security against compassion for newcomers. Climate debates may set economic stability against environmental stewardship. Inside organizations, one team may fight to preserve continuity while another pushes for bold innovation.
These aren’t clashes between right and wrong. They are collisions between what matters most to different people. And those collisions can only be navigated when we acknowledge the depth and legitimacy of the values at stake.
What Leaders can do
Leaders who embrace “Everyone Starts From Good” behave differently. They:
1. Pause judgment. Resist reducing others to “the problem.”
2. Seek the story behind the stance. Ask: what is the good this person is trying to protect?
3. Make competing goods visible. Reframe conflict as a clash of values, not as moral failure.
4. Hold the tension. Create spaces where multiple visions of good can be explored not to erase difference, but to make it workable.
Leadership for our times
This principle doesn’t mean turning a blind eye or pretending all choices are equally valid. Some actions cause real harm, and leaders have a responsibility to call that out.
What “everyone starts from good” offers is not a moral pass, but a leadership lens. It’s a way of beginning with the question: what is this person trying to protect or advance?
That question doesn’t excuse behaviour, but it does create the possibility of understanding and understanding is the first step to leading across divides.
Starting from good forces us to slow down, to see the humanity behind the stance, and to recognize that most people are trying to act in service of something meaningful to them.
If leaders can adopt this stance - in politics, in communities, in organizations - they can move beyond the deadlock of “us vs. them” and create the conditions for genuine dialogue and collaboration.
Because if everyone starts from good, then leadership is about understanding the different things people are fighting for and finding ways to hold them together.
David O'Connor
David O’Connor is Director of Strategy & Innovation at Common Purpose. In his role, he leads the development of new approaches, and learning experiences that push the boundaries of leadership development. David is passionate about redefining how we prepare leaders to navigate complexity, and is driven by the belief that disruptive thinking can unlock powerful, inclusive impact in communities and organizations.
Lead, with a difference
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